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23rd September 2015 News/Articles

Identify Signs of Codependency

Questionnaire to Identify Signs of Codependency

This condition appears to run in different degrees, whereby the intensity of symptoms are on a spectrum of severity, as opposed to an all or nothing scale. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of codependency; not everyone experiencing these symptoms suffers from codependency.

1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?
3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?
4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?
5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?
6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?
7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?
8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?
9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?
10. Have you ever felt inadequate?
11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?
12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?
13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?
14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?
15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?
16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?
17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?
18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?
19. Do you have trouble asking for help?
20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?

If you identify with several of these symptoms; are dissatisfied with yourself or your relationships; you should consider seeking professional help. Arrange for a diagnostic evaluation with a licensed physician or psychologist experienced in treating co-dependency.

Next Steps

If you are struggling with an Addiction or know someone who is. Please feel free to contact us and we can help you with your next steps.

Cherrywood House is a rehabilitation centre for people suffering from substance and other addictive disorders. It is situated in the tranquil, semi-rural environments of Constantia, Cape Town, South Africa. We offer Residential Programmes, Aftercare Support Services, Outpatient Programme, Family Support Groups. For more information. Visit our Website Here.

21st September 2015 News/Articles

How to overcome an addiction

The truth about addictions is that they come in many forms, shapes and sizes. For some, it is alcohol, drugs, sex, work, or relationships. For others, it is a combination of them all. Our addictions in life are similar in that they all take us to a point of excess. In many ways, this excess can derail us and keep us from focusing on the best our life has to offer.

So, how can you turn the ship around? How can you bring change – real change – to your life? We explore here. Then, we invite your questions or comments about overcoming addiction at the end.

15th September 2015 News/Articles

Addiction: The Social Disease

Addiction as a social disease

Stanton and Archie Brodsky wrote this piece in 1976 for the Addiction Research Foundation publication (now defunct), Addictions, which was subsequently reprinted by the recovery publishing house, Hazelden! Building on their approach in Love and Addiction, Stanton and Archie analyze how addiction, rather than being an aberration, grows from the well-springs of modern existence. Their views are in many ways prophetic of developments in the quarter century since. Consider that Freda Martin, an adviser to the Invest in Kids Foundation, said about a parenting survey in Canada in March of this year, “Never in the history of civilization have we had so much scientific information about how a child’s brain develops. And never have our young people been so isolated from their families, so bereft of practical experience and practical wisdom.”

Stanton Peele and Archie Brodsky

10th September 2015 News/Articles

Relationship Conflict Management for Early Recovery

It appears to be internationally accepted counsel for new-comers into recovery out of an addiction, not to get involved in emotional and romantic relationships for a period of up to two years. The reasoning behind this suggested discipline lies in the hope that as you come into recovery you will start to change as a person, so in two years’ time, if you have joined a programme of change, you will not be the same person that you are today. It is also fair to say that, until you are at peace with the person you have become because of the addiction, and then made some necessary changes, the person you hope to be may remain a figment of your ambitions. There is also the toxic danger of wanting a relationship in order to get good feelings from an external source (using). Therefore, in simple terms, it could be relationally detrimental to invest yourself into the life of another person, especially if that other person is also in an early recovery programme.

8th September 2015 Family Help & Advice News/Articles

A Look at Cross Addiction

Waking from a fitful sleep, Sandra couldn’t believe her eyes – or her head, for that matter. She had a pounding headache and felt nauseated, but that wasn’t the worst of it. As her blurred vision began to clear, she slowly started to realize where she was. The setting was familiar, but it wasn’t her bedroom. It was the country detox centre.

Feelings of anger, depression, and self-disgust flooded her. Not again, she thought. I swore to my husband and kids six months ago that I’d never drink again. How could this have happened?

Why do people relapse? Why do people like Sandra who seem so sincere in their commitment to recovery go back to drinking and using? While the reasons people relapse are not always clear, one reason frequently stands out: they didn’t understand cross-addiction.

This article’s purpose is to help the reader understand cross-addiction in order to attain balance in recovery and avoid a possible relapse.

7th August 2015 News/Articles

Occasional Heavy Drinker? Or A Real Alcoholic?

Am I an Occasional Heavy Drinker? Or a Real Alcoholic?

By Bill Manville 08/03/15 -sourced https://www.thefix.com/

My doctor asked me if I’m an alcoholic. I lied. Telling her the truth meant the end of fun.

“Elaine” had never been arrested for drunk driving, lost a job or passed out due to booze. She’d come to the meeting—her first—to please her husband but the drunk rambles she’d just heard made her think maybe she was in the wrong place—AA was not for her.

“Eddie claims we fight because I’m an alcoholic. He says a lot of hidden anger comes out after I have a drink or two. My own feeling is that he doesn’t think it proper for ‘a lady’ to drink at all; he is very old-fashioned. I tell him the main thing wrong with our marriage is his nagging. But sometimes when I am alone with my feelings [I think] wouldn’t a little vodka right now turn the world right side up? I think maybe he’s right. Bill, how can I know if I’m just an occasional heavy drinker, or a real alcoholic?”

“Elaine, let’s do a little self-diagnosis,” I said to her. “Imagine you’re having a medical consultation with a doc who knows you very well. He looks up from your chart and says, ‘Mrs. Jones, you’ve had your last drink.’ How does that make you feel?

“For most people, the reaction would be, ‘Not even a glass of wine at a festive dinner? Oh, well, if it’s a matter of life and death, that’s not too high a price. Sure, Doc—I quit as of now.’”

When a rehab counselor said that to me, a chill went down my spine. Oh, no, I said.Never to drink again? That was death.

What made it difficult for me to see that I was an alcoholic was this: I had become unpredictable to myself. I could stop at a bar after a day at the office, have a drink and go home to dinner with my (then) wife. I was just like anyone else. See?

This ignored the fact that I could stop in the same bar at the same time the next day, order the same drink, and wake up three days later in Bermuda…so high only dogs could hear me.

21st July 2015 Addiction News/Articles

The Opposite Of Addiction Is Not Sobriety

Johann Hari, author of the New York Times best-selling book “Chasing The Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs,” has been exploring the true cause of addiction, something he believes is largely misunderstood.

In a Ted Talk filmed last month, Hari challenged the belief that addiction is caused by chemical hooks, saying patients who receive painkillers after medical procedures but have no issue getting off the drugs largely disprove that theory.

“If what we believe about addiction is right, if those people are exposed to all those chemical hooks, what should happen? They should become addicts,” he said. “It doesn’t happen.”

What Hari believes to be the cause of addiction – be it drug addiction, gambling addiction or even addiction to your mobile device — is a lack of human connection.

“Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond. And when we’re happy and healthy we’ll bond and connect with each other,” Hari explained. “But if you can’t do that — because you’re traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life — you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that’s our nature, that’s what we want as human beings.”

Watch Hari’s Ted Talk above.

“For a hundred years now we’ve been singing war songs about addicts,” Hari said. “I think all along we should have been singing love songs to them. Because the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”

Read Johann Hari’s blog for The Huffington Post, “The Likely Cause Of Addiction Has Been Discovered, And It Is Not What You Think,” here. Hari will be speaking on August 26th in Edinburgh, in early September in Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne, and in mid-September in Mexico City. For details of these events go towww.chasingthescream.com.

Wrapping it up

We hope that you found this article fascinating and helpful. If you are struggling with an Addiction or know someone who is. Please feel free to contact us and we can help you with your next steps.

Cherrywood House is a rehabilitation centre for people suffering from substance and other addictive disorders. It is situated in the tranquil, semi-rural environments of Constantia, Cape Town, South Africa. We offer Residential Programmes, Aftercare Support Services, Outpatient programmes, Family Support Groups. For more information. Visit our Website Here.

26th May 2015 News/Articles

Integrity

Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no-one is around.

Recovery happens in secret. For many years I put up a front when I got out of treatment. Everything was fine and I was now in recovery. How did I know that it wasn’t real ? I was not the same person when I was alone as when I was in public. There were times when I knew that I could get away with certain behaviours and I indulged in that. Then the next day I would go out a different person filled with guilt and shame. Something had to change this time. Covering my history with substance abuse was not enough. ALL my addictive behaviour had to be addressed. Acting one way on the outside wasn’t enough, I was doomed to fail. My insides and outsides have to match up in order for me to stay clean, because, just like recovery, relapse happens in secret. If I’m fearful when I hand someone my phone because there are things on it that I don’t want people to see, then something is wrong. If I don’t want people to go onto my computer because there are things that I hide, there is a problem.